what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
