I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
