Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
wow bdsm is so cute
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize