and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize