I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
