what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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