the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
