you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
