just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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