Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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