you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
