he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
