so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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