I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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