so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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