What did we do last night that was yellow?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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