areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
