part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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