We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize