I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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