I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
