I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
As shirtless as possible
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
