Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
