Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
