Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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