I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
