I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
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