You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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