She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
