Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
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