Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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