me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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