she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
it's like iHOP with fire
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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