never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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