There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize