i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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