me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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