Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
