Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
