Porn is love you can see.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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