oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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