How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
