when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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