My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize