smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
