I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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