Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize