You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
