I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
