that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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