Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize