let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
