I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
another moral hangover. fuck.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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