1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
