this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
