I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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