you would pick up someone in the library
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
