should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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