You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
