It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize