I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
we're so committed to being not committed
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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