If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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