if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
