We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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