Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
