mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Randomize
