I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
