I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
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