can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
