they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
