dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
