How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
